The Spirituality of Self-Compassion
How adopting this concept can create better entrepreneurs
The spirituality, or soul embodiment, of self-compassion is a concept that I am currently trying to grapple with. Particularly, I want to work on cultivating more of it, in order to develop more compassion in my writing for others, as I embark further on this journey of entrepreneurship. After all, being an entrepreneur is, “being an agent for change.” (Russell S. Sobel) It is a person who creates innovative solutions, takes financial and professional risks, to fulfil a lack in the market. And, there is no better way to do that, unless one has an understanding and somewhat emotional connection to the other. But first, can one truly connect to the other, understanding and sympathising with their needs, if they cannot truly embody those characteristics within themselves? What truly is the spirituality of self-compassion; and why, more than ever, do entrepreneurs need this quality to be most creative in their pursuits to develop greater initiatives to help the many and not the few?
What is compassion without self compassion?
“If you cannot love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love anybody else.” (Rupaul)
In short, it is unhealthy and/or unbalanced. “Compassion is a spiritual quality…that makes people go out of their way to feel for others and help them deal with their problems.” (Jayaram V The psychology and spirituality of compassion)
There is an element to love, kindness, and empathy within compassion that drives people to want to help those in need, or those who are suffering. (Jayaram V) To be truly compassionate is to be solution driven to other people’s needs. But first, one must recognise their own suffering and tend to their own needs. This concept is similar to the oxygen mask in an airplane. It is advised that one should put on their own oxygen mask before assisting another. This is perfectly reasonable given that if one cannot breathe, they won’t be able to effectively help another. Or, they may not know how to assist another in the most appropriate way, if they do not know how to put on their own mask, first.
Compassion without self compassion can also lead to abusive relationships between the individual and the other. Those that are quick to have compassion for others before being that to themselves can be taken advantage of and disrespected. (Allison Abrams May 2017) This can eventually lead to emotional, mental, and spiritual burnout (Allison Abrams May 2017) Burnout that can preclude one from tending to anyone’s pain, oneself or another.
In terms of entrepreneurship, one cannot create, innovate, and/or improve the status quo from this space; nor can they sustain growth and scalability. Plus, entrepreneurship takes trial and error. One has to have the stamina and ability to fail, create, test, fail, and create again. Without self compassion, one can likely have unrealistic expectations on themselves to be perfect. (Allison Abrams May 2017) With these high expectations, there is no room for testing and improvement. There is no room for an entrepreneur to desire creating a new or improved solution, if at first, they were unsuccessful, or couldn’t quite reach their ideal customer profile (ICP). These high expectations of themselves could also translate to high expectations of others. They could have high expectations on their customer, creating solutions that actually do not garner that much demand, or misperceive their actual need in the market altogether.
When a person has developed true compassion for themselves, the result is healthy and balanced compassion for others.
What is the spirituality of self-compassion?
“Self-understanding is a vital precursor to understanding others.” (Julia Head 2018)
First off, I use the word “spirituality” as it pertains to self compassion, because there is a spiritual element to this concept. The spirituality of self compassion is having an awareness, consciousness, and soul connection to compassion. It is more than a feeling or belief, it is the spiritual embodiment of: “love, kindness, perseverance, fairness, justice, grace, tenderness, mercy, charity, and humanness,” (Julia Head 2018), to oneself. Therefore, the spirituality of self compassion is the embodiment of knowing and understanding how to create solutions to heal oneself. (Emma Seppala July 2014) When a person has this awareness, they are motivated to make their setbacks become learning opportunities. (Emma Seppala July 2014) Subsequently, growth can happen; because one learns to fixate on those opportunities, instead of identifying themselves with their failures and their criticisms.
The spirituality of self-compassion can also lead one to relate better to others, now that they are fully conscious, understanding, and accepting of their true selves. They recognise their own humanity and the humanity of others. (Emma Seppala July 2014). One is capable of mistakes, doing “unfavourable” things, and not knowing everything; but still, one can accept themselves for who they are. And, they can fully appreciate the inherently flawed, shared human experience, that everyone goes through. Therefore, one can finally show true compassion for another; because they can both empathise and sympathise with another person. Sympathise: because one can truly be affected by how that person feels. (Julia Head 2018) And empathise: because one can truly embrace that other person’s feelings. (Julia Head 2018) Generally, this can lead to more love, understanding, and mindfulness to everyone’s pain; and subsequently lead one to wanting to create solutions that temper or remove that pain.
Why is the spirituality of self-compassion vital to entrepreneurship?
In order for one to fully be able to realise an idea to fruition, into a viable product or service, they must know why they are doing this in the first place. The answer to that can only be derived from within. There is a level of training the mind and spirit to be calm, peaceful, and uncritical, in order to facilitate a true connection to, and understanding of, one’s soul’s purpose and how it would be most productive. (Julia Head 2018) For entrepreneurs, they have to answer the why before they can create the how. Understanding the spirituality of self compassion, can lead entrepreneurs to be less critical of themselves, and more willing to go through the process of creation, failure, improvement, and testing of their products and services on the market. They will have a better understanding of their ICP, because they can both empathise and sympathise with their pain. They also will be able to create from a place of love, balance, and harmony, meaning they can sustain that creativity; instead of creating from a place of burnout. They can grow from mistakes because they channel those into opportunities. In addition, they can create solutions that may help more than just people who they think they relate to, but to a larger group of humanity, because they can recognise humanity in all.
Therefore tapping into the spirituality of self compassion is so paramount to being a great entrepreneur. Understanding, relating, and accepting one’s true self with love and balance, can lead entrepreneurs to create, learn, scale, grow, and make more impactful outcomes for our future.
